Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i think i just lost a toe
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
