More tranny stories later!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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