And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
