We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
