I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
