I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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