For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
