why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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