True but thats because hes a fetus.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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