Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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