I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
