it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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