he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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