I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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