I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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