She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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