I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
