Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
