brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
