I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
