i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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