Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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