Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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