1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I would fuck him just for his dog
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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