So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
