My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
