I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
