i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
