I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
