There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
vagina is talking i cant
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize