Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
