You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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