I molested 6 butterflies tonight
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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