your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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