Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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