He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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