I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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