My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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