apparently the secret to your success is patron
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
