You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
