Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize