It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
