where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
