fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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