it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
