Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Couch. On fire.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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