If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
