you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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