angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
