oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize