The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
