After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
