He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
