So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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